I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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