Already got asked if we're dating
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
