I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just tell him i said nine months
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
