Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
