Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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