What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
