I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
