Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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