Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
