Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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