Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
