why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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