New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
