My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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