he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
