You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
