I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
