I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just tell him i said nine months
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
