Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
