Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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