How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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