you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
