There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
