I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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