i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
