ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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