he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
