just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
