she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
