she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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