The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
