would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
