ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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