K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Randomize
