Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
