Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
