Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
