maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
