Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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