just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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