i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
