Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
