So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
