I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
