Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
