yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
