Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
