hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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