omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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