butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
