I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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